Round Two.

This blog is dedicated to the life of being a mommy, a parent, and all about my son....but here again, I am taking time to write a blog about myself and another "personal problem" I am having.
This upcoming weekend I was going to get to go to Atlanta with my fellow future Art Education students from Austin Peay. We were going to leave early Saturday and go to the High Museum and go see some art, stay the night at the Art Ed. teachers momma and then come back Sunday. This trip was going to be the mommy weekend I have been waiting for, for a while. Just one night away, doing what I loved.....seeing art.
(I love anything art related by the way.....teaching art, looking at art, making art, learning new art mediums, ect.) So this weekend was going to be so fun, and a stress reliever.....and here we are.
Round two.
Look like another trip is taking away from me.
(As if our honeymoon wasn't enough...)
and so it turns out my mom forgot she had to keep Eli AND she is having to move, her excuse is legit though because she finally got her a piece of property and she has about a week left to get everything done and with her working, she needs to take this weekend to advantage and get everything done that she needs to do. I get this. It is just so frustrating....
where my story comes to place is when I say this:
I asked Alex if he would keep Eli this weekend.
My mom needs his help, and I understand this too....but why on earth do I always get the same response? He said he was looking forward to having a weekend, alone.
(As in "baby free.")
Plus the income news, we really don't have the money for me to get to do anything.
So what will I get to do this weekend while everyone is going to get to go see an awesome exhibit that I could only dream of?
http://www.high.org/moma.aspx#/Picasso-to-Warhol/landing
Sitting at home....with my kiddo that I love dearly....finishing up on homework, stressing, and not getting to have any relaxation what so ever. Awesome.

I am in some major NEED of just one night to get away. Shew.

Individualism.

You know what ticks me off?
People trying to dress my kid and give him THEIR style.
First off, I am his mother.
I carried him for nine months and gave birth to him.
If anything I will choose his style until he is old enough to dress himself...
(around three or so.)
And people who try to influence his style really pees me off.
He is cute, dressed the way I choose.
I dress him in plaids, polos, stylish graphic tees, Kentucky merch, skateboarding brands, and nice/modern jeans.
Excuse me for not wanting my kid to wear overalls, camouflage, and look like a "little redneck."
It isn't happening.

It makes me so angry. Just because that's what you think he would look cute in...does not mean he will wear it, ever. Ugh!
If I am old enough to have a child, raise a child, and take care of a child, I am old enough to dress him too.
Thanks!

Regardless of other peoples' opinions....from my own concerns and my own thoughts of Eli's little style...
he is classy, handsome, well-dressed, and has his own baby "swag!"
^The little girl in one of these pictures even thought so.

So to all the people wanting my child to be a redneck wannabee...or hick....or cowboy...
SUCK IT! haha.

Easter Pictures!!!

Wanted to share some of Eli's Easter pictures from this year...(the professional ones.) My friend took them this year and last year. She is so talented and amazing! She also took our wedding pictures last year....her and her husband! I love all of their work and dedication! AND she loves my kiddo!

First:

Last year's Easter pictures!

And now enjoy these pictures....ones from this year! And there is such a huge difference in Eli's growth too. It makes me a bit sad and miss him being seven months old. Time really does fly and he is growing to be such a brilliant, handsome little boy.

There are so many more, just wanted to share some of the cuter ones though.

Props and special thanks to Mrs. Samantha Williams!

And so blessed to have my little family.

Anchor You Down

 Anchor to my heart: Symbolism of hope, security, stability, foundational safety, and strong bond. 

 If you don't have the one best friend that anchors you down, you should. The anchor is more than a symbol for us, it is a connection of a lifelong friendship. One that no matter where in the world she is, she still is a part of me. A part that only few know of. She knows everything about me. How I feel, my secrets, the worst of me, and the best. She is several miles away and regardless, she remains only a phone call away.
She's my number one best friend. Always.
My best friend was my maid-of-honor and she hand-wrote a speech that brought me to tears on my wedding day. It was a mixture that I was a bride, that it was the most special day of my life, and that my best friend was reading the world her approval and giving me her blessing:

Her letter read-
Good evening! For those of you who don't know me, I am Morgan, the very proud bestest friend of our stunning bride. I would like to start by congratulating the bride and groom thanking all of you that could be here on their magical day.
Tristen is a true romantic and has been on a search for that special somebody since I can remember. I am so happy for the both of you. I know that Tristen has found her perfect match and I know your marriage will last for decades to come.
I would love to start by cracking jokes about the groom but the truth is I can't because I never knew Alex before he dated Tristen. I can tell you that I think he is a wonderful man and makes Tristen the happiest I have ever seen her.
Tristen, I would also like to tell you how beautiful you look today, and that this has truly been a special day for me. Thank you for giving me the true meaning of the word best friend and for letting me share this opportunity with you.
No matter how far the military takes me away from Tristen, I know that I will always have her there. Every-time I come home it is just like I never left...we simply pick up where we left off and laugh so hard it hurts. I love to share a lot more funny and embarrassing stories about her, but because this is her special day, I will let her off easy.
I'd also like to share some words of advice....Googled of course. But I figured they were fitting for the newlyweds.
Whenever you are wrong, admit it.
Whenever you are rightm be quiet.
And Alex, always remember a happy wife makes for a happy life.
My wishes for Alex and Tristen are that they have a long, happy marriage. I wish you both the best and Alex, as long as you treat her like a princess it'll be the very best.
Please raise your glasses while I toast my best friend and her husband.
Take each day and cherish your time together.
So here's to love, laughter, happily ever after.
Cheers!

My reaction.

I cried like a big ole baby.

I am so thankful for her.

Get Your Act Together

I am just going to ramble a minute for a break; about this online class I am taking this semester.
Class is History 2020.
I am having a hard time getting it together in this class. For the record, online classes are hard to take when you are a visual learner, but I took my first History class in the classroom and was BTD!-(BORED TO DEATH)
With the online class at least I am just facing the questions that need to be answered and then I can rush to find them to answer discussion boards and type papers using Google and my text book. With this, who needs a teacher, right?
Well apparently that's the case anyways. I am so frustrated.
Here I am, at the two week (or so) mark until classes are over for the semester...
if you are a college student you know what this mark means.
It means full on stress, hard work, more of a commitment than you would ever want, and focus you really just don't have. It means feeling crappy and staying on the edge of feelings. I am usually very tired and will snap if anyone says something wrong to me because I am so ready for my usual 3-4 month summer break.
Going back....
two weeks until the final exams and I have yet to even get a grade for my midterm in this class.

Our teacher constantly sends out these emails of apologies that his mother had bone cancer, she is older, she is dying, and is constantly in and out of hospice.
Do I feel sorry for him? Well, yes! I am not heartless and I would clearly be devastated if I lost my mother, especially of all people. I love my mom. She is my nurturer. But at what point do you put your job on hold, your students are left out in the cold and in the dark waiting...for your attention? Well, we are at this point. I have yet to get any grades posted, I have sent several emails and had 0 (zero) responses.
I don't know what to do. How do I contact him?

Earlier this semester he even told us that he bought a smart phone to stay in contact with us students, to help us, to answer questions, and to guide us.
Apparently he lied, or he cannot work a smart phone.
It pisses me off!! (excuse my language of frustration.)
He can't answer back to anyone OR post grades....???

It gets better...
I have a friend in this class with me, a girl I went to high school with, and she fell behind on two assignments, like me, due to having a little one....and SHE ALSO has had the same problem. She hasn't seen any grades, heard any responses and she is having the same "left in the dark" feeling.

Online evaluations were yesterday and I had to do it...I evaluated him "poor" and "very poor" on everything because he isn't even there as a teacher. I am wanting to report this problem to further above him, like the Dean. I mean I understand he is going through a hard time....but this is where it turns to crap.

He cannot respond to an email, but he has enough time to post more work!! More papers for us to type, more time for us to take when HE cannot even take the TIME to be a teacher. Man. I am fed up.
All I know....is I BETTER make a great grade. Shew.
Rant over.

It has been forever and a day....

Since I have posted a new blog.
A little 411 on Eli....is has been sick the past week and a half and man on man has it been a struggle and a half plus a side of heartache and heartbreak.
He has been so whiny, fussy, grumpy, and attached at my hips.
I am thankful for Alex so much during these times.
It's the small things...like getting a shower to yourself...
or getting to go tan and relax for 12 minutes.
I love my little kiddo though, it just gets tiring when you have a child all to yourself 24/7.
This is when I really admire my best friend...(basically a single mother, Macey.)
She IS a mother 24/7. Not by choice. Her baby daddy scammed on her. He sees his child every other week and he's a piece of shit in my book. He bailed on my best friend and his child. So she is my hero. She works. She has her own place. She pays for diapers alone. She pays for her bills, alone. She is strong, bold, and a WONDERFUL mother. Oh, and like some other shitty mothers, she know how to put her child first.

Back to my week....Eli has been soo so sick. We were at the ER last Friday night, and then again last Saturday evening.....both times we really found no answers to my sons unexplained high fever. They ran tests both times and gave me answers that both felt long. I am still concerned but not so sure we can afford a third emergency room bill. I already dread the other two that will be in the mail any day now...

Besides Eli, Alex now found out that there will be NO MORE unemployment checks for him. Kentucky simply stopped their extra benefits they were giving....all of a sudden.
Need I say more? There goes our summer vacation we have been planning for months.
You know...the one were I didn't want to leave my son for a week...the one where we were going to go somewhere alone, as a couple, as a married couple....on a honeymoon.
Yep.
That will be put off another year or few.
It sucks. Okay, okay....so many other people in this would have it way worse so I should quit bitching and such it up and realize it won't be the end of my world. I have an awesome husband that provides for us and a beautiful (handsome) son that I would do anything for....so why why why am I so upset?
I think, secretly, I wanted that time with my husband. I wanted precious time away where we got to reignite and hold hands and become gitty and smile and kiss and make love in our suite. (We are married so don't even judge me!) Haha! :)
Looks like we will be doing these things alone, at home, being parents, NOT on a beach.
Grant it, I am going to be "butt hurt" (a term my Kentucky-native husband shared with me) about this one for a while.
And to make matters worst we are living in a terribly expensive apartment that we just had to renew a contract with and it's $750 a month to live here....plus bills. Plus food, gas to school (for both my husband and myself) plus everything our toddler needs, plus a cat. Can we say $$$? Ugh.
This blog is only about me bitching I suppose. I am just upset. I feel I have every right to be. So going on...our contract doesn't end here at this apartment complex until October, over five months from now.
And we had to re-sign it because we were going to have no where else to go.
Blah.

The list could keep going.
Damn....I wanted to go to the beach this summer.
I AM BUMMED.
AND....
more than anything...
I want my child to be healed, feel much better, and STAY WELL.

Okay.
Now I need to thank God.
I need to be thankful for everything I have.
I am thankful for everything and everyone I have in my life.
My family.
My husband.
My son.
My mother.
My father.
My brothers.
My second family.
My best friends.
My good/close friends.
My artistic ability.
My home/roof over my head.
My car.
My insurance being paid for.
My cell phone being paid for.
My bills being paid for, ^ all covered by my loving husband.
My ability/privilege to get to go to school.
My gas being paid for.
The guidance I am offered,
Free childcare.
My intuition and ambition.
My comfy bed.
My internet.
My own computer.
My heart.
My lungs.
My brain.
The food that feeds my family nearly three meals a day.
The kitchen table that sets my family down for an evening meal, almost every night.
The beds that allow my family a full night of rest.
The clothes in my closet.
The shoes upon my feel.
The pictures for my memories.
The water that supplies my family everything from baths, clean clothes and dishes, to meals and relieving thirst.
I am thankful for bottled water.
I am thankful for doctors and medicine.
I am thankful for my freedom.
I am thankful for my faith and religion.
I am thankful to be a believer in God.
I am thankful for forgiveness.
I am thankful for MY Father.
I am thankful his son gave his life for you and me.
I am thankful for everything good I have going for me.
Amen.